When spending on yourself feels selfish
Here’s something I almost talked myself out of.
I’ve been debating whether to invest in a program that calls deeply to me—one focused on sacred sensuality and feminine embodiment.
It’s not a business strategy course.
It won’t teach me how to double my income.
It won’t help me create a funnel.
It’s a program that would feed me.
If money were infinite, I’d say yes in a heartbeat.
But like so many women, I feel pressure to explain why I deserve it.
To justify the cost.
To prove that this kind of investment is somehow “worthy.”
Because here’s the truth so many of us have absorbed:
Spending money on your business? Smart.
Spending money on your home or kids? Responsible.
Spending money on your joy, sensuality, or nourishment?
That feels… indulgent.
Who Gets to Be Worthy?
I tell myself, “That money could go to something more practical. More justifiable. More for the family.”
This is the invisible math so many women do in our heads—
The unconscious equation where our needs are always weighed against someone else’s.
Where our desires are only valid if they can be defended.
But what if the ROI isn’t measurable?
What if the return is a nourished nervous system?
A reawakened sense of aliveness?
A more whole version of you?
The Dream That Came Back
Just as I was wrestling with this decision, I had a dream.
Again.
I dreamt of my pet birds—Rio and Whiskey—two beloved companions from my twenties who have both passed.
They visit me in dreams a few times a year.
Every time, I’m amazed to find them still alive.
And every time, I feel guilt:
I forgot to feed them.
Their cage is a mess.
They’ve been waiting.
But here’s the thing:
They’re never mad.
They’re delighted to see me.
They perch on my finger.
They chirp and flutter.
And I feed them.
What This Dream Is Teaching Me (and Maybe You)
In Jungian psychology, recurring dreams are important messages from the unconscious—Parts of ourselves that don’t die, even when neglected.
And in many spiritual traditions, birds are more than companions—they are messengers of the soul. Symbols of freedom, intuition, and the divine feminine.
They carry wisdom from realms we often overlook in our day-to-day lives.
For me, Rio and Whiskey are more than memories.
They’re reminders.
They represent:
Joy
Devotion
Play
Tendernes
Soulful energy that survives even when ignored
They symbolize the part of me that doesn’t need to produce or prove,
but simply wants to feel alive.
And in this dream, they didn’t need an apology.
They just wanted to be fed.
To be remembered.
Your Turn
✨ Where do you feel the need to justify your desires?
✨ What parts of you have been waiting quietly for nourishment?
✨ What would change if you stopped asking, “Is this responsible?”
and started asking, “Is this nourishing me?”
Want insight into one of your recurring dreams? I've been having a lot of fun exploring inner symbolism with this ChatGPT Dream Interpreter
https://chatgpt.com/g/g-jFa3VjJI8-dream-interpretation-expert
Here's to feeding what’s vital,
M
🪶 P.S.This is exactly the kind of inner work we explore in my Soul-Yes Sessions—not just what’s logical, but what’s alive.
If you're hearing a quiet voice inside asking for more...
Let’s listen to her together.
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