When Confidence Is Felt, Not Forced
We’ve been taught to project confidence. But what if that’s exactly what makes it disappear?
Late in my career, I enrolled in my first self-development program, Tara Mohr’s Playing Big (excellent course, BTW), because I thought I needed more confidence.
Back then, confidence felt like something I had to build. Something I could master if I just worked a little harder, spoke a little louder, believed a little more.
Over time, I’ve realized confidence isn’t something we add on.
It’s something we uncover.
Recently, I was coaching a client, a startup founder preparing to meet with an investor. She’d made progress, but the tech had hit a snag. A big one. She asked me how she could project confidence when she felt so behind.
We dove in.
I asked, “Should you be further along than you are?”
It sounded like a trick question.
But it wasn’t.
Because the moment we believe we should be further, better, or different, our energy degenerates.
We leave integrity and slip into performance.
And performance is the opposite of confidence.
Confidence isn’t bravado. It’s integrity. It’s showing up grounded and whole. Trusting that every action, inaction, win, and loss brought you right here.
My client returned from her meeting beaming.
Not only was the investor still interested, they offered to connect her with a potential customer.
It wasn’t her pitch that landed, it was her integrity. The quiet steadiness that comes from owning her own journey.
That’s confidence that’s felt, not forced.
Let’s practice that now. 🧡
Confidence isn’t something you build. It’s what returns when you stop performing and start trusting where you are.
3 Prompts To Help You Shift, Align, And Act In Real Time
Exclusive to weekly readers, these prompts are designed for my Meredith AI Coach, trained in the Nothing to Prove framework, to help you turn reflection into real-time clarity and confidence.
Open my Soulful AI Coach here 👇
https://link.pauseboxco.com/Meredith-AI
🔥 Prompt 1:
“Help me see where I’m trying to prove I’m confident instead of simply being myself.”