Permission To Be Real

Have you ever avoided picking up the phone?

Not because you didn’t care… but because you felt too heavy, too tired, too not yourself to engage?

That was me yesterday.

In a low mood.

Under the weight of a pile up of disappointments.

Doing what I usually do in that space: retreating. Processing. Solo.

Then came a text.

It was from a newer connection—someone I admire deeply. An Elder. A woman I want to learn from.

And my first instinct?

Not connection.

Avoidance.

I didn’t want to explain my headspace.

Didn’t want to share my low vibe.

Didn’t feel like I had anything to give.

Didn’t want to be seen in this not-quite-shiny version of myself.

So I told myself I’d respond later. When I felt more “on.” More like the generous, wise woman she originally met.

Cue: the shoulds.

I should reply.

I shouldn’t leave her hanging.

But if I offer to set up a call… when? I love my weekends quiet and uninterrupted.

But if I wait too long, she’ll think I don’t care.

So much spinning. So much PROVING energy. So much pressure to be someone better than who I was in that moment.

Eventually, I put the phone down. No clear path forward. No move that felt right.

Then something small but real nudged me.

I remembered she loves plants.

So I walked outside, snapped a picture of the white iceberg roses blooming in my yard, and sent it.

It felt light. Honest. Enough.

She responded with warmth and appreciation. I sent a kissy-face reply and put my phone down again.

Then it rang.

It was her.

I went to pick up. The call ended. Probably an accidental call.

Then it rang again. This time, I answered.

“Did you call me?” she asked.

“No!” I laughed. “I thought you called me!”

And just like that, we were off.

An effortless, nourishing, soul-affirming conversation.

No heaviness. No pretending.

Just two humans, being real.

And I realized: My soul orchestrated this.

My soul knew I needed her.

My soul also knew how easily I close the door when I think I have to earn love by being bright, helpful, positive.

That’s the energy of the Prover.

It’s sneaky. And exhausting.

And in that moment, my Higher Self showed me—so sweetly, so clearly—that I don’t need to do anything to deserve love.

I don’t need to be impressive, articulate, “together.”

I just need to be me.

Because love finds a way.

Even when we resist it.

Even when we’re not “on.”

Even when it shows up disguised as a mistaken call.

So if you’re feeling low, messy, or not enough today—hear this:

🙌 You are still deserving of connection.

🙌 You don’t have to wait until you feel better to reach out.

🙌 You don’t have to perform your worth.

Let something small and sincere be enough. A photo. A word. A breath of beauty.

Let it be the bridge.

Let it remind you:

✨ There’s nothing to prove.

✨ You’re already enough.

✨ Love knows how to find you.

With tenderness and truth,

Meredith